A Queer Little Twist
by Robyn5
Summary: the title is pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?


This is so sad. This being me and Clark sitting in the Talon. Clark is the least pathetic part of this. I think if he wasn't here then I would be completely certifiable. Either way, it's bad. Really bad. We have both fallen head-over-heels in a concoction of lust mixed with strong emotional connections. If I were the blaming type, I would blame Lex. Until he ran Clark off the bridge, we were doing fine. I liked Clark and he liked Lana and we never really questioned anything because we met the status quo. We didn't have a choice, because this is Smallville and homosexuality doesn't actually exist here. Seriously. People in Smallville might have roommates or close friends but never ever more then that. See, Smallville is devoid of attractions other than "World's biggest ball of yarn," which, by the way, is completely unimpressive. I've only been like twice, and it's only about 15 feet high. So teenagers develop wacky hijinks like tying people up in cornfields and taunting people like Clark and me.  
  
I'm getting off topic. The point is that Clark and I were happy. Then Lex ruined it all with his suave manner and confidence, sweeping completely and totally off his feet. We were at the Beanery one day, and I caught Clark, how should I say it, checking out Lex's profile in an almost studious manner. From that point on, it was clear that Clark is as queer as a three-dollar bill and black sunshine. His cup secretly runneth over with rainbow pride. Who would have thought? I have to admit, it was fun calling him on it. He never blushes and he turned positively scarlet. Eventually, I had him talking. He said that he gave Lex mouth to mouth and he started feeling "tingly." That's the word he used: "tingly." He provided me with this perfect image, Clark hovering over Lex, dripping wet, putting his own mouth on his, their hard bodies pressing together. I'm starting to sound like a bad porno, but Clark was the one who said it, stuttering and blushing the whole way through. By the time he was finished, I was stuttering and blushing.  
  
So, the whole Clark and his Lex fixation really took him off the table as far as where I was concerned. I may be slightly irrational sometimes, but I can still recognize a losing situation when I see one. So I guess this is where my slight fixation with Lana began. Let me reiterate; this is when I started allowing myself to think about Lana. For a while, we were in that love-hate relationship. I would always mock her for being a cheerleader, and she would, well, be nice? Ok, so maybe I was alone on the whole love-hate thing, but that's insignificant. Because, deep down somewhere, I would have dropped the act in like, the time it takes me to drink an espresso shot, if I had the opportunity. When she needed help find her mom's speech I looked hard to find it, and when I gave it to her I know that there was some goofy grin on my face. After I told this to Clark, he almost died laughing, before giving me permission to use his telescope anytime I felt like it.  
  
Clark and I have grown closer in our mutual problem, like "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" way. In the Talon, we're plotting. My plan is that, since I'm not irresistibly good looking, I somehow how have to trick Lana into falling in love with me. Clark tells me that I look fine (he say's fine stretching the "i" and rolls his eye when I glare at him; dork). He says that Lana is nice and the worst that could happen is that I throw myself at her feet and she says she's not interested. I'm feeling way more confident in Clark's chances because I'm a) not him and b) Lex gets positively giddy whenever Clark is around. Since Lex is pretty monotone this is hard to tell, but I have journalistic senses. I catch the faint rise in his eyebrow and the smirk. Plus, it's all in the eyes. He wants Clark. Lex is meeting us for coffee in about, say, 20 minutes, and Clark is going to try to feel everything out. Like, try to get his opinion of homosexuality and possibly bring up the subject. I came to sit with him for mutual support; to be a good friend, to hold his hand in his time of need; but most importantly, to get coffee and oggle Lana. She just walked in. She's wet from the rain; her hair is wet and shiny and her shirt is damp and she looks stunning. I want to grovel in front of her. I want to get down on both knees and let her stroke my hair like a cat. Ok, weird thought. Oh, and Lex is with her. It's odd, but Lex isn't even slightly wet. He's pristine in his purple shirt and perfect face that even I can appreciate. I can feel Clark tensing from here. 


End file.
